I'll Tumble 4 Ya, COTA!

(This post appeared in a slightly different form on Facebook, Sept. 17, 2016).

Almost one month later, it stills hurts to breathe too hard, sneeze, or turn the "wrong" way. I was seriously damaged a few weeks ago while running to catch the bus. While I don't blame the authority for the mishap (well, maybe just a little...), it is COTA-related!

Running to the bus while trying to zip up a left-open backpack compartment is not a good idea. Just ask me.

Leaving Kroger on North Broadway in Clintonville, clutching a bag of groceries, I notice the bus is coming and I'll have to run to catch it. As I run, it becomes immediately apparent that one of my backpack compartments--the big one--is unzipped and flapping in the breeze. I twist out of the straps so I can zip it up, running all the while.

Suddenly, my foot catches in an uneven portion of a North High Street sidewalk (there are many), and I catapult through the air, slamming back to earth on my left knee (already bruised from a mishap just a week ago), on my left rib cage, and on the palms of my hands. The bag, which I was holding in front of me as I tried to zip it, probably cushioned my fall and prevented my skull from cracking on the sidewalk.

Still, the tumble packed quite a wallop that left me totally breathless and seeing zooming stars. I was probably out for about 15 seconds. I started writhing on the ground in pain, gasping for breath. It knocked the freakin' wind out of me.

Several people, including a man who jumped out of his car at the intersection of North High and North Broadway (one of the city's absolute worst crossroads), came to my aid. It took me a good 10 minutes to pull it together, and they stayed with me until I was back on my feet, my scattered groceries were gathered, and I was safely at the bus stop.

My knee is pretty banged up (for the second time in a week), and I'm pretty sure I have bruised ribs, maybe worse (sneezing a moment ago was excruciating, every sudden move of my trunk agonizing), but I am grateful for the passing strangers who showed me kindness, caring and compassion.

Postscript, Oct. 13, 2016:

I'm real fortunate, even though I'm still a little sore. I could have had more serious injuries, or even been hit by a car or bus. I am truly thankful for the handful of spirits who rushed to my aid. Their actions gave my faith in humanity a small boost.

The bus was at the stop when I fell, and to his credit, the driver waited for a couple of minutes and when it was clear I was going to be sprawled on the sidewalk for at least 10 minutes (which I was), he slowly drove away. I didn't blame him; he had a schedule to keep.

DIY, COTA STYLE!

I know, some of the posts I've put up this time have year-old photos. For two reasons: I don't like to waste a good shot, and because COTA is timeless so the photos are always apropos and on point. COTA is timeless because CONDITIONS RARELY CHANGE. So the unsuspecting Columbus commuter might well expect to stumble upon similar scenes and conditions during their own riding careers. Truth never gets old.

Well, here's another blast from the recent past, from December 2015, and it involves COTA's horrible habit of keeping riders ill- or totally uninformed about service changes. One that chilly Sunday morn, I was waiting for the bus at my local Near East Side stop when I watched this scene unfold.
The barricades went up and the sign was posted. How the hell was I to get downtown? While minutes earlier, I warmly anticipated the possibility of peace and quiet my attendance at a spiritual gathering might bring, now vicious thoughts of homicide began to roil inside my brain. No COTA notice, no information concerning rerouting or how long this delay-breeding roadblock might stay in force. A few choice words were exclaimed to no one in particular.

After several minutes, I noticed the bus was turning off down the street, blocks away. No choice but to walk down there. But first, I felt I must alert other COTA customers to the crisis. So I did something COTA should have done but didn't and usually doesn't: posted timely and accurate information about delays and reroutes.

Caption Call: Can You Come Up With One for This?

I've seen a lot of interesting things in my years of urban commuting. I've more than a quarter of a century of experience now though I haven't concluded whether that milestone is a badge of honor or a mark of shame. Certainly, here in CARlumbus, Ohio, it's closest to the latter.

I came upon this scene in early September at the bus stop at 1301 N. High St., just across the street from the OSU Kroger store (the stop recently was awarded this blog's "Our Filthy Bus Stops" designation, as was its sister station across the street in front of the Kroger store). I wasn't sure quite what to make of it, but I knew I had to capture it on photograph.

So I'm going to try to elicit a bit of reader participation here, and ask you, dear COTA Criminologists, how would caption this photo? Please keep it above-board, over-the-belt-buckle, and within common decency; keep in mind that the blog's parameters in that regard are fairly broad.

Our Filthy Bus Stops (an occasional series): The southbound No. 2 stop across from the OSU Kroger store (1301 North High Street)

A number of "jammin'" bus stops exist along North "High" Street, especially around the city's historical Skid Row district (known in old Columbus as "Flytown," now known as the trendy Short North, and chock-full of expensive boites, overpriced boutiques, and craft-beer joints that now cater to the area's uber hipster elite.) Despite the efforts of well-meaning, quality-of-life-citin' gentrifiers who want the area made safe and sterile for boyfriends and baby buggies, ragtag bands of resilient disciples of Bacchus and his liquid libations regularly still can be seen having an impromptu wine-bottle tip at several of local COTA stops.

Two weeks ago, I was coming home from a poetry reading at a gallery in the neighborhood and had to fjord a lake of puke assumedly left by the bedraggled wino leaning on a nearby wall at the southbound No. 2 North High Street and West Fourth Avenue stop.

While I took these photos last fall, conditions are still pretty ripe at the stop, which also caters to clients of the mental-health center just behind it, as well as shoppers spree-spending their blood money at the Kroger liquor store, having just sold their life fluid at the nearby plasma-prostitution establishment.

Here's some recent scenes:


Southbound view.

Overturned newspaper racks litter the scene.


Inside the shelter, a passed-out casualty of the afternoon's festivities snoozes on. Earlier, he had been chugging out of a brown paper bag with a buddy, then started to nod off. The buddy tried to rouse him to no avail. Eventually, a kind cop gently succeeded in getting him up, and Dude tottered on down the street--dazed but otherwise unharmed.


And, of course, here's the obligatory "filth" shot:

I Heard It on COTA (honest!)....

A guy and gal, late 30s, talkin' trash about people they know, including women whose housekeeping habits are slovenly at best.

"Some women just like to live dirty," said the female conversant.

A few short minutes later, I spied Ms. Clean snacking on a bag of chips, then LICKING her fingers when she was finished. Of course, the bag went on the floor despite the presence of at least 50 COTA "convenience" plastic bags on the vehicle, including a stash right in front of her (she was sitting near the back door, where COTA keeps a cache of plastic bags for riders who might need to grab a quick one before decamping the bus).

Yech.

Different Day, Same Trash

I tend to perch on the back row of the bus, usually the right-hand side. Recently, two days running, I was greeted with this scene (photo time stamps do not lie!):

I did a double-take (and a double-shot) because I couldn't believe this was the same trash. But the presence of the Spanish-language newspaper gave it away....

New COTA Slogan "Moves" Me to Tears

The new COTA slogan is "We Move People. People Move Us."

Unsure how much the authority paid some hot-shot ad agency to formulate this gem, but it already has emblazoned the meme on its PLASTIC BAGS!

Yeah, I'll admit COTA "moves" me; its lousy service and disgusting buses (and not a few passengers) inspired me to start this blog, which is nearing 5,000 page views!

Thanks, COTA!

Upcoming...

I've had over 2,500 views (probably about 500 of those are mine as I post and edit) on this blog since its inception four years ago, including look-sees as far away as Alaska! I still get too few comments and feedback, but I am grateful to those who read it. It shows that my efforts are not in vain.

I am sorry that I don't post more regularly, but I hope to address this over the next few months. I've got some fabulous articles in the works, including:

--How to Ride a Bus 101
--Auditions for the Not-Quite-Fare-Ready Riders troupe
--A Sunday Kind of COTA
--Dangerous Cut-and-Runners

and many more!

And I will continue my campaign to rid our buses of those loathsome plastic garbage bags!

So say tuned, and again, thanks!

Another Bus Stop to Nowhere: Graceland

The Graceland shopping center has seen a resurgence of sorts in the past 10 years. While many 1960s-era shopping centers are shut down and shuttered, Graceland is a popular shopping destination for north Columbus residents, and includes a Target, a Kroger, among other consumerist haunts. So why is this bus stop to nowhere still in existence?
This lonely spot at the very end of Graceland--the last of two stops inside the shopping center--is notable for its absolute lack of any amenities for the beleaguered COTA rider (unlike many stops, it DOES have a garbage can). It's a good stretch, probably about 100 yards, from the nearby Kroger (hence, the preponderance of shopping carts seen below), and if you are elderly or otherwise physically disabled, it has to be quite a chore to lug your groceries to it. Fuhgettaboudit, if you happen to be stranded there during inclement weather.

The spot does have a nice view of a meadow, behind which is a park that lines the banks of the Olentangy River. But most visitors to the spot are trying to get home, not sight-see or take a nature walk.

With the development boom transforming Columbus, it's a safe bet that open space's days are numbered. Should development reach this lonely spot, perhaps the powers that be COTA might consider upgrading this stop. My suggestion would be to move the stop to the parking lot lane that the bus already rolls through on its way to this outpost. It's close to the store, and would not impede parking-lot traffic, and would be a hell of a lot less an ordeal for those lugging groceries home from here.

The future is: PLASTICS (as in COTA garbage bags)

Readers who follow this blog know I abhor the sheaves of plastic garbage bags that COTA feels compelled to offer its il-litter-ate customers, many of whom use them as seat covers, which end up on the floor and often out the door to add to our tremendous stream of plastic garbage. Here's a recent scene on the bus--though I have seen worse when I did not have my camera on me; on a recent day, I counted more than 15 of these horrible bags littering the seats and floor of a bus. More than one driver has told me they are tired of picking them up day after day. I cringe every time I see a selfish rider pull off a bag and spread it over their seat. My dander rises even more when the lazy bums just leave them there when they disembark. Riders seem to think, like many people these days in general seem to do, that "someone else" will come along and pick up after their asses. WRONG, PEOPLE! BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR TRASH, AND PICK THAT BAG UP AFTER YOU'VE SPREAD YOUR ASS OVER IT.



While I always find this annoying to see on the bus, THIS had me totally incensed when I spotted it in the community garden next door to my building last month.




And no, I did not "plant" the bag there. A few days later, again without my camera, I saw no more than FIVE COTA bags littering the lawn of a building that houses doctors' offices at 18th Avenue and East Main Street.

COTA buses had ads that boasted about its new "green" headquarters downtown a couple of years ago. The authority won some kind of award for the "green" features built into the North High Street building it occupies downtown. I propose that the award be rescinded until COTA cleans up its act, and gets rid of these loathsome plastic bags.

Our Filthy Bus Stops: The garbage dump in front of the Health Department

I pass by the bus stop at East Main Street and Parsons Avenue nearly everyday. At that corner stands the stately, neo-Gothic pile that serves as the headquarters for the Franklin County Health Department. Its first incarnation was as the Ohio School for the Deaf, and also the Ohio School for the Blind. One of its students, a Toledo boy, who learned to play piano there during his residency in the 1930s, went on to become the world-renowned jazz pianist Art Tatum. Roland Rashaan Kirk, known for his ability to play two saxophones at once, also spent time there. In the late 1990s, the building was totally renovated and became the Health Department.



The building is surrounded by an original, wrought-iron fence and within is a beautiful, expansive green campus dotted with large, century-old oak trees. The vista, however, often is marred by unsightly trash left by patrons of the Health Department who wait at the stop on the corner for their bus.

Last fall, this was the scene--for more than two weeks!





Those potato chips did not disintegrate over the entire two-week period! And during that time, trash began to migrate over the fence into the Health Department campus.



Granted, the area abuts the infamous "split" where Interstates 70 and 71 intersect near downtown, and admittedly, just about any major interstate exit and junction tends to act as catch-all for all manner of garbage. These scenes were taken just across Parsons Avenue from the bus stop.






The stop has no trash can even though my experience shows the presence of a trash receptacle does not guarantee it will be used. Still, it would be nice to have the option.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I took this photo while passing by on a Reynoldsburg-bound No. 2:



So the cycle begins anew. Pretty ironic, eh?

Despicable COTA plastic bags have a use after all

Finally! Someone has figured out a use for those earth-killing plastic bags that COTA feels compelled to place for "passenger convenience" on their buses.

A few months ago, I was riding the #2 North High Street line, headed downtown. One of the resident COTA crazies got on--I've seen her before, once cursing a bus driver a blue streak for some alleged wrong--and pulled one of the bags off the rack, sat down, and proceeded to barf inside the bag.

"Awww, that's better!" she said to no one in particular, as several other rider/witnesses attempted to keep their own gag reflexes in check.

She sat behind the bus driver, who asked her, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, why you askin'?"

"Well, I think you need to get off the bus, if you're sick," said the female bus driver, an attractive strawberry blonde who reminds me of young Sissy Spacek.

"Why? I ain't doin' nothin'," the puker spat, indignation rising in her voice (I've seen her thrown off the bus before for cursing loudly at another rider for no apparent reason).

"Well, you're spewing bodily fluids, and that's a potential danger to other passengers," the driver replied.

"Oh bullshit, it's in the bag," Pukey responded. "It ain't gonna get on anyone."

I have to admit the bag did hold the puke in check. I watched it dangle back and forth from her wrist, waiting for it to leak.

"I can't allow you to expose passengers to potentially harmful bodily fluids," the driver insisted.

Pukey got adamant, and said, "I'm getting off at the next stop (South High Street and State Street) anyway."

She did, and casually tossed the puke-laden COTA bag into the trashcan (thankfully, and not in the street, where I see so many COTA bags these days).

Now whenever I get that all-too-frequent urge to puke while on the bus, I'll just reach for a handy COTA barf bag!

Precisely!

I've bitched about the muddy rut that serves as a bus stop near the Spielman Center on Third Avenue just off Olentangy River Road. Apparently, I'm not alone in my critique of this barren and dangerous stop (see previous post: Rider in the Storm at the Bus Stop to Nowhere).

Recently seen:

While Columbus continues to boom with new construction going up everywhere, including at nearby Grandview Yards, this bus stop--an apparent nod to Ohio's pioneer era--is absolutely inexcusable.

Those Damned Plastic COTA Bags!

Oh, what's that I see lurking on the ground near the bus stop at East Main and Gilbert streets mingling with the other scraps of trash that don't seem to make it into the conveniently provided garbage can?

Why, my stars, it's a plastic COTA garbage bag like the ones COTA stocks on every bus, and which riders use as seat covers. This one undoubtedly was kicked out the bus by a rider exiting the back door, and now has a new home on an East Main Street sidewalk.

I did the right thing and put it in the trash receptacle. But I am increasingly annoyed with the plastic bag problem, and I've talked to a few drivers who also think they should be banned from the buses. After all, they have to clean up the scores of them left behind by riders who use them to protect their behinds from whatever they believe might be lurking on COTA's seats. And the riders who use them as seat covers are selfish pigs who expect others to clean up their litter, which is what the bags left on seats, then on floors, are.

I am launching a one-man battle against this social and environmental nuisance (see recent post Big Butt Plastic Bag Seat Cover Sweat).

Our Filthy Bus Stops (an occasional series)

The bus stop at the OSU-area Kroger on North High Street between Fifth and Sixth avenues is also one of the city's filthiest. Frequented by the drunk, the doped, the deranged, and many OSU students, it was built as part of the new Kroger store that opened in 2012.

Its predecessor, while unremarkable, did have an enclosed shelter. It, too, had a colorful clientele; it wasn't uncommon to stumble onto an impromptu Ripple party on occasion (the area still retains a hint of its past as Columbus's Skid Row; someone forgot to tell the street people that the area has been totally gentrified and hipsterized over the past 20 years).But what irked me about it were the numerous nearby magazine racks from which people would pull out newspapers, ad rags, and the like to use as bench covers, then leave them there, where they invariably ended up on the ground. The litter would congeal into a pulpy mess when it rained.

The replacement is a spartan affair with an overhang that doesn't really protect one from the elements.

It provides weary riders with a nasty-looking concrete bench that is usually being commandeered by one of the area's many derelicts. These photos, taken last fall, show the bench and the surrounding sidewalk. I tend to walk around the stains, being as they are of undetermined origin, and NEVER sit on the bench, which is a favorite sunning spot for the lost and the wandering.

I would think that the store and COTA might have a general agreement on upkeep of the stop, but apparently this is not the case. Some of these stains survived our admittedly mild winter. As summer draws near, the stop is once again a thriving social hotspot, and will soon return to the conditions I've documented. Is it too much to ask that a disinfectant scrub-down of the stop occur once in a while? Just asking--not that I'll EVER sit on that bench!

The Work of a Pissed-Off COTA Rider?

Whilst taking a leisurely stroll recently down East Main Street toward downtown, I noticed a street sign lying in the yard of a private home.

As I got closer, the sign appeared somewhat familiar to me.

On closer inspection: Why, of course! It's a bus stop sign that should have been standing tall at the corner of Monroe and East Main streets. Apparently, a disgruntled COTA rider pulled it out of the ground and flung it over the fence. The sign has since been returned to it rightful place near the curb.